just a doodle for a greetings card by Anne B Wright

just a doodle for a greetings card

water colour

Question

I would be interested to have feedback on this as, despite having it in the pool twice, it is failing dismally. Would anyone care to give me a critique on what I could improve upon?
Tags
28 comments
Simple, yet beautiful Anne. Love it. Take care.
over 4 years ago
Thanks a lot Ken I appreciate thsat. Anne
over 4 years
beautiful in it's simplicity.
over 4 years
Thank you Sabrina for your lovely comment
over 4 years
Lovely work, Anne!
over 4 years
Thank you Tamara I am most grateful for your inout
over 4 years
Why do you think its failing, because of the comments ? I think its a lovely fresh impressionistic piece. Was the soft focus your intention?
over 4 years
Because of the lack of comments actually, I was hoping for some constructive criticism but the picture refused to attract any. The soft focus was intentional and it has made a rather nice greetings card - but I need some pointers to give me back my urge to paint. Thanks for commenting I am grateful.
over 4 years
love it Anne, but would have liked to see more shadows also the base on which the vase is stood on more vivid, hope this helps
over 4 years
Thanks ever so much Pauline, this is just the pointer I wanted, this helps with my enthusiasm to look more and gives me the urge to resume painting. Thanks again.Anne
over 4 years
Hi Anne, I see you really ARE asking for suggestions, so, looking at your very successful "Just a flower" The main things lacking with this I think are a varied background with some asymatrical depth of tone, and/or interesting side lighting with dramatic shadows..just something to give greater interest to the viewer perhaps? But it is fine as a greetings card, just not as a stand-alone painting at the moment....I tend to move all my colours in daps all over the painting but wouldn't do this in a quickly made card....and by the way, I've m
never made one so am not the person to be giving advice..Ah, sudden brainwave, .perhaps you could tie a red bow or string around the neck of the vase and let it make some interesting shapes on the ground?
Anyway best wishes, Hilary
over 4 years
Oh thanks so much Hilary yes indeed I do really want advice as I just don't seem to be able to get a grip. I used to paint with gusto and enthusiasm but seem to have lost the knack at the moment so I am greatly inspired by your fulsome pointers. Your suggestions make so much sense I really must pay more attention to the task in hand. so, whilst I can't make any actual changes to this original as I have made and sent the card lol!! But I intend to do the whole thing over again with more care and consideration to the suggestions I have been given. Hopefully will be able to show THAT one soon. Love and thanks Anne
over 4 years
Hi Anne again, I usually make a little thumbnail sketch first with Biro or charcoal...just to check the tones in black and white first..it is also possible to try out several different compositions and the effect of light or dark backgrounds etc, change in direction of light source...the thumbnails are only 2 x 3" so don't take long and are very rough...if I am copying from a photo I will make some black and white prints and go over them
with black and white charcoal and possibly some brown conte, again adjusting tones and focus, hard and soft edges. I work with acrylics so it is very quick and easy to change and to try out various things while I am painting too!
If I didn't do all this I would be bored stiff! I find much of the fun is in the planning......
PS I think we are really reluctant to give suggestions for fear of offence so it is lovely to be asked for them!
over 4 years
Thanks again Hilary I do appreciate all of your help and you are quite right about offering advice unless asked for-hence my asking!! I never feel competent enough to offer someone else advice, so it is great to ask and receive from a professional, so thanks again. I must try out your ways.
over 4 years
I think it's beautiful in it's simplicity, Anne. You have had some great advice from Hilary and others if you did want it to have more impact, so can't really think of anything else to add. Lovely as it is. Glenys.
over 4 years
You are most kind Glenys and your comments give me hope. Thank you Regards Anne
over 4 years
Hi Anne, I love it, doing flowers is not the easiest thing, you have done a great job. Regards Cynthia
over 3 years
Thanks a lot Cynthia
over 3 years
Hi Anne, my first thought was, "I love the simplicity". When I started reading your question about not many comments, I started looking deeper. I adore your colors, but think what may be off alittle is the composition of the flowers. Someone had told me, when doing a bouquet, the flowers should be in an S shape. Perhaps, try that and see. I was very attracted to it, so maybe a small change will make it perfect. Keep n mind, I am not an expert, painting two years. Lol Love, Gail
over 3 years
Gail I so appreciate your fulsome comment on this and the time you have spent on considering the piece. I just must say one thing, that is, whilst you are right about the S shape for a bouquet I think that that is for flower arranging with actual flowers rather than a painting especially as in this case where the flowers were more or less thrown into the vase to achieve a natural look rather than a fixed look nevertheless your point is worth me taking another look at the arrangement. Once again, Thank you. Regards Anne
over 3 years
Ha, I should have known that, as I arrange flowers by the thrown in way. I still found your painting to be lovely, my type. Kind regards, Gail
over 3 years
Well Gail I am still grateful for your observation on this as it had quite a negative response - so any hints are always helpful and well received. regards Anne
over 3 years
Hi Anne, I had not started the Critique when I made a comment on this 2 months ago but have sent you an invitation for the Critique group where you may get more detailed suggestions, but you also need to give a thoughtful response to some other works in the group, putting CC at the end to let them know you
Good luck, Hilary
PS The Pool is quite a lottery Anne, I find tremendous interest in anything I do which is cute and fluffy, whereas my more serious works do not attract attention,
As I said before I think this really stands out as it is such a simple design.
CC
over 3 years
Thanks HIlary, always appreciate your input. Anne
over 3 years
Hi, Anne. I think your "doodle" is lovely in its simplicity, as many people have said. You mustn't feel it has "failed" in the pool - it is so random what people see or focus on, and even more so what they actually comment on! I think often it's a question of knowing what to say! As for suggestions for improvement, you have received all sorts, but it's up to you to decide what interests you, where you're going with the painting or the exercise! Do you want it to look more "formal"? Do you want it too look flat, linear, oriental, stark? Do you want to illuminate it more? Give it more volume? Describe the flowers more in depth? Personally I love the subtle playing with the different shades of pale in the background and on the table - but I'd also like to see the edge of the table more defined, maybe check your values as to dark and light, possibly practicing with a black and white version first? Very best regards and hopefully encouragement!
over 3 years
Thanks a lot for you input on this I appreciate it and it gives me something to think about.Anne
over 3 years
Input..it occurs to me..needs to be grounded at the bottom of the vase..which means a darker color than the surrounding area. The flowers need to be connected with greens something to pull the piece together. Putting the vase in the center
is not as interesting as if you would have put it off center to the left or right. Flowers are too much the same in color value, need to vary colors.cc
over 3 years
Thank you, I appreciate your hints and advice. Anne
over 3 years
Beautiful doodle!
over 3 years
Thank you so much for this comment.
over 3 years
Hi again, I saw you asked for opinions so popped back for another look. Your piece has an oriental feel and a nice sense of mood. For the style, I think the vase is sufficiently grounded and I don't feel at all that it is floating in space. So I have to pretend it is my own painting to get really picky. I would slightly lengthen one or other of the ends of the outside branches to get rid of the 2 V's. I think I would add another branch in between the two left branches and curve it in a little towards the middle branch but not as tall. And I would add an additional flower on this branch. I think this will compliment the two central flowers.I like your flowers as is and would not change. Hope that is helpful. Don't worry if you pop paintings on and do not get lots of comments. I used to spend a lot more time on P.I.L. and you can get lots of comments by commenting on LOTS of other paintings; but it depends on how much this helps and how much time you want to devote to the site.
over 3 years
Once again Michael I really appreciate your input and I will certainly study and learn by your suggestions, even looking again at the picture tells me how right you are. I am glad you think it is grounded ok because that has caused me some problem. Please feel free to give me the benefit of your professional experience any time. Thank you very much. Anne
over 3 years
Since it is a watercolor, there is the possibility to add a wash of bluish at the top edge of the table blended into the table so it has more "dimension" and maybe a bit of shadow of the vase also... done!

As for comments, I wouldn't pay any attention to that, dear! I used to be so enthused about some people's comments, until I saw how they would at times comment on a real "dud" the same enthusiastic way.... and I've found quite a few a-ma-zing pieces on PIL and they maybe had none to 10 comments! There IS a whole game going on with some PIL members about "if you comment on mine, I'll comment on yours" type of thing....
over 3 years
Thank you so much Sonja for your fulsome appraisal I am so encouraged by your suggestions and hints that make so much sense, and your overall comments. Thank you very much
over 3 years
I agree with Sonja - I have found that unless i play the PIL game of spending at least 20-30 mins A DAY commenting on the work of others, I get few comments. I also know that I have put some good pieces up and got under five comments, whereas in the past some duds got 30-40 comments because I was playing the game. I really can't be bothered anymore because I know that the lack of comments, or the good response means nothing. You have to come to the point of having confidence in your own work. So, keep going!
over 3 years
.Thanks for that Jackie.it is good to know that I am not alone. Regards Anne
over 3 years
I like this simple composition. I drew many images for greeting cards and then printed them out and tried to sell as limited editions. I realized that the best sellers were cards that were printed from pictures with animals in forests and birds on branches with painted fence behind them. The best critique is from a buyer without any words...:) I know, it is scary to stay in a market and wait what happens, but it is worth it.
Ambertalexxx
over 3 years
Thank you for your fulsome comment. My cards are sent as originals generally to family and friends so I don't make any money... Anne
over 3 years
If it is a greeting card maybe the addition of type that relates to the greeting, ie happy birthday etc
over 2 years
That is right and when the card was put together so did it say the appropriate greeting. Anne
over 2 years
"Critique" is too strong. It always depends on the purpose and intent behind a piece...and no matter what the purpose or intention, I like this piece. However, you did say the purpose was as a greeting. I like the simplicity here however...BUT, if you wish to improve the composition for a greeting-card, perhaps a slight theme in the direction of what the greeting is saying and for whom. As is this might be for a funeral or multi-purpose...but not sure. If it were mine, I'd shade a bit in black behind the leaves, stems, flowers and vase to distance them from the back wall or background. This may be all the effect you may wish to see. Hope this helps, All-the-best, -Stephen
over 2 years
Dear Stephen, I like what you say and appreciate your help. the idea of shading a bit in black really takes my imagination, I will give that a try I see it in my minds eye and it seems such a simple but brilliant idea. Thanks. Regards Anne
over 2 years
The painting lacks life - not enough contrast between the tablecloth and the backdrop.
No shadows.
Perhaps a few more leaves on the tablecloth.
The vase could have a design.
Something to take away the flatness, even a picture on the wall would give this some depth.
Marilyn xx
over 2 years
Sorry for the delay Marilyn and thanks for the observation.
over 2 years
The background is a bit dull. A bit of colour and maybe a bigger vase. More flowers and a bit bigger with shading. regards Susie
over 2 years
Thanks for your time and tips Susie. Will take them on board. Anne
over 2 years
imho, a stronger light source would help,thus giving you some shadow on the table and some type of sheen to the vase, a deeper or brighter background and perhaps more flowers or another type of flower that is not so structured. Again, very def. my own thoughts...no criticism intended.
over 2 years
Thank you for taking the time to give me your thoughts on this and I am most grateful and I do not take this as criticism but more, information and technique. Once again thanks and I will study this carefully. Anne
over 2 years
you could change the color of the vase....right now it is a black hole in the paper...next there needs to be a source of light....wherever the light comes from will make a shadow....on the vase and there is a shadow made by the vase.......I would change the background to fit with the flowers better....bring the color of the background right down to the table cloth....the front of the tablecloth needs to act as the foreground....put a flower close to the front edge of the table cloth...this will push the middle ground towards the wall behind it.....I hope this is clear enough ...to understand...I tried to make it as plain as possible...take care and have faith....b
over 2 years
Thanks for that Barbara and you made it very clear. Looking at the pic , what you say makes a good deal of sense, I will have a bash at that. Thanks again always welcome constructive comments. Anne
over 2 years
Thanks Anne critique is fun.

It is well done but I feel it is a bit lonely. Maybe it will be less lonely hanging on a wall with other items/art

Even a frame would help it especially a frame with a mat in it.

For me the painting is fine it just needs better presentation. Congratz
over 1 year
Thanks Colin, I appreciate your positive observations. I have decided that I really need to re-do the whole thing but I take on board your tip of a frame and to add to other items. Anne
over 1 year
On flower arrangements the vases have wide tops. More branches and flowers. Just type in Vase of Roses and you will see many examples.
over 1 year
Thanks for the info, Anne
over 1 year
Wow look at all the responses, there must be plenty of praise and advice in that lot.

Responses probably do not matter but they can make us feel good.

I value depth in artwork, depth is when a flat paper or board appears to go back miles, and you can look into the picture and an experienced artist can count the number of depth indicators.

But your subject is not a landscape but there are still ways of creating the illusion of volume and depth.

The easy depth creator is a frame. A good frame can make you look into the pic, rather than at the picture

So with this one my advice is a frame. And maybe exagerate the highlite on the vase to give it more appearance of volume.

You could use shadow or a table cloth or some props.

But really you need to look for something unique to set your work apart from the rest. For my signature I use a leather stamp "Wombat" and he can become part of the pictures action. Sometimes I write "Wombat" if I think it helps the picture.
over 1 year
wow, I am overwhelmed by your interest, thank you
over 1 year
pretty flowers, I like Colin's idea of a frame and I think the middle stem could use a flower :)
over 1 year
Thanks Loretta, will take all on board
over 1 year
I really like this... I like the white background ,,, its simple and beautiful... I have trouble commenting. I feel like "what do I know" and I don't think I have the language to comment... sometimes I really like something and I stare at it... with no words.... I put a lot of dots ..... wordless thoughts and processing... I don't know why you wouldn't get comments. I don't remember seeing this one. I think the same thing about mine sometimes...
over 1 year
Aaagh Cynthia I know just what you mean, and I am eternally grateful for the time and thought you have given to this. Anne
over 1 year
The colour combination is great. For me, it looks a little bit out of balance and the image is blurry.
Suggestion: You can maybe add more flowers to help balance the picture out and upload a sharper quality image of the painting. Sometimes I find that scanning my artworks improves the quality. If this is a small artwork, you can maybe try that :-)
10 months
I like it Anne.....If you want ideas, here's what I would do: bring the loose flower forward and a bit further to the right; delete all three "Y"s on top of your stems
and paint out the left stem down to the second flower so it is the shortest stem of the three. Continue the fine work...I too enjoy watercolor and I do realize
it would be difficult to paint out areas and of course much easier in a more forviving medium like oil or acrylic. I think as it is, it's appealing as a greeting card and
making a few more with stems in different positions might be fun. Good luck and happy painting!
12 days
Thanks for that appreciate your comment. Anne
11 days
Add your comment    description  formatting  help
previous    next   top
Artist Statement
for Anne B Wright
Anne B WrightNo formal training, just the library and the internet and years and years of trying. I am absolutely thrilled with this site, have had such a lot of help and I am very grateful, but it is now time to update the picture as I have reached the three score years and ten plus... I have such a great regard for all the artists on here who have offered their advice, observations and comments with generosity.
Gold Member
I gifted this one for a wedding. I love the couple. I knew the young man since he was a young boy. Do you gift your paintings to friends and family ?
Indeed I do! Beautiful blue bird. I give them my website and allow them to choose unless they want something specific. I am sure your friends were thrilled... view answer
abstract acrylic animals autumn beach birds blackandwhite blues boats buildings cats charcoal cityscape clouds dogs drawings dreams fantasy figurative flowers forsale glaze greens horses impasto inks landscape layers moon mountains nature oil oranges pastel pens plein‑air portrait reds rivers roses seascape snow still‑life sunsets surrealism texture trees watercolor wildlife
Loading